Paradise

"Come on, stop shuffling, I always do it for you, do I ever complain?" said the middle aged averagely beautiful woman. She was trying different ways to stand, smile, look and not to look at the camera. The girl who was holding the cellphone was bored, upset and disturbed even by the topic itself. Mother insisted, "I'm waiting here Bethy. Stop whining and take my picture, I found a new background, it'll be lovely!" The woman made her best fake smile, for that second, even Lisbeth could have believed her. However it did not last long. Right after the girl pressed the button of the cellphone, the mother's smile faded. Her ordinary lifeless look covered all her face again and she hurried to grab the phone from her daughter's hands.

"Goddamn it! How many times have I told you to fit me in the frame Lisbeth?"
"Thought you would like to fit the landscape in as well, isn't it why we came here anyway?"
"Of course baby, but you got to remember that we are not focused on the landscape. It's just an object of the real subject. Do I need to remind you who is the subject too?" said the woman with an unnecessary tease.
The girl was pissed, "You told me that you want to spend time with me to talk and show me the things you like but we have been taking your photos instead. Why did we come here again mom? Am I the one you need or just the tool to use?" said Lisbeth jadedly.
Mother fixed her mess quickly and squeezed her arms "Lisbeth, why are you doing this darling? Since when you are so touchy? You know that I have a profile to resume upon the sight of my fans. I am not an ordinary person, you know that. You have a special mother which makes you a special daughter as well. Every rose has thorns, stop complaining and focus on the smell baby. Besides, that credit card did not fall from the sky anyway..."

Mother grinned priggishly, Lisbeth felt dizzy. Grabbed her purse from her bag and slided her credit card quickly. "Then take this back mom, so you can pay the photographer. If you pay enough, he may even chat with you when you're bored and I bet he will not even complain about the process of your profile picture discussion. Have fun with that, you don't need me anyway.."

The girl did not wait for the response and quickly ran away. She heard her mother's snappy yelling that followed her, "Wanna be a rebel? Be then. Like father like daughter. Get out of my sight!"

The girl turned the first taxi to get away and was ready to give the most of her remained money to the driver. "Drive away" said the girl, "drive to the coast."

When she got off the car, she found a cigarette from her bag and lit it with her shaking hands. Looked at the skyline and watched the waves for a while. "How miserably fucked up we all are" she said to herself when she released the smoke between her dry lips.

Her mother was an old actress who is forgotten years ago but she never accepted the fact that she is neither famous nor beautiful anymore. The fans that she loves to mention all the time were only the perverts who only dream of banging her. Even the thought of them while touching her mother was disguisting Lisbeth. She wanted to protect her mother from harm but the more she tried, the more she found herself as drowning into the mud.

It could have been better if her father did not  have taken the golden shot while he was drunk as always. She read the event on the newspapers. "EX-FAME DRUG ADDICT HAS FOUND DEAD AT A CHEAP HOTEL ROOM, ALONE AND NAKED." It was not the best title for an interview or something, yet this was the first time for a really long while that the papers gave him the front page. He must have been happy when he saw the page from the upstairs. Good or bad would not matter, an advert was an advert and years after his faded fame, he was the cover guy again...

Lisbeth barely remembered her father because he was always somewhere else. He was the least caring husband and father of all times but still the mother was better while he was somewhere alive out there. She was in love with him with her all cells and it would not matter if he loves him back or not since she had the legal ownership of him. She captured him at his most famous days with her growing filled belly, Lisbeth, and married him with the threat of ruining his acting career at his brightest days. He never loved her and she never truely had him but she was always proud to be the Mrs. Tim Hassington. She never believed that he died for real. He must have been hiding somewhere, like always. The papers were liars, they could write anything with enough amount of money. He would come back someday, when he needs the true love of his life, she would be there for him then, with her open arms. It would not matter that he is not that famous or handsome anymore, her fame would be enough for both of them. He would come back, he had to come back. They had the passion fruit anyway, as long as Lisbeth is alive, they would always be binded together. Till death do them part...

And death did them part, years ago. Many years ago to accept but mother got only crazier every single year. She did not believe that he died, she got old, lost her fame and spent almost entire of her money to stay beautiful and it did not work. All she had then was her precious daughter that would eventually bring her lost husband back but the only thing that Lisbeth did over the passing years was losing her faith upon her mother's sane.

While she was litting her fifth cigarette, she wanted to get away from everything, run away and hide somewhere, like father like daughter, blood never lets you be free.. She wanted to see Martyn, for one last time. She would give anything to see him again but she knew that it would not be again, ever.  How long it had been since the last time she saw him? If there was anything called as the missing piece of the broken soul, at least she knew where to look to complete herself. Yet she also knew that they would never be together again. "We shouldn't have left that bubble my dear" said Lisbeth while she was staring at the bubbly tracks of the waves that hit the blond sand.

They had that air bubble, the little cave of their own, they were safe there, away from the shits of their lives, the mud of life itself. "We should never have left there, we should have known that the life would collide us, why didn't we see it coming before?" she whispered to the waves, "we should have gone till the end, bold enough to face the life as one, we left it incomplete and there is no way now to take it back now. We chose to be pride, rebel and free then. Now you are pride, rebel, free, and as a funny plus of life, you are dead as well. We should have known that the life would take our lives away, just at the first second that it catches us alone. I did not see it coming, and maybe you did not care. You are pride, rebel and free my dear, and I am lost forever."

He was stabbed from his back by a drunk junky, he died there instantly. There was no reason for that. The murderer did not even remember why or how he did it, he must have been just drunk and bored. So he did not get any punishment for what he did and he was sent to a mental hospital instead for rehab. Martyn was gone for no reason and it would not have happened if she did not let him go on that night. The night that they decided to walk through their own seperated free lives, sure they did not know that it would mean the end of Martyn's life.

She felt utterly alone and disfunctional again. She was unable to take care of the ones that she cares and unable to even show them that she cares. She saw the seagulls flying over the sea, to another land, for another life. Then her cellphone rang and distracted her. It was her mother's text. "Forgive me Bethy, you know you are all I got. Please come home, we can talk about it.."

She put her earphones and found her favorite song. The lyrics were melting her soul again while she was walking through the only home she knew.

"Life goes on it gets so heavy, the wheel breaks the butterfly... She said oh ohohohohoh I know that sun must set to rise.."